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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24152020">The Relationship Ship</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinemoras09/pseuds/sinemoras09'>sinemoras09</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Solar Opposites</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crack, Domestic Fluff, M/M, Slice of Life</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-26</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 19:34:54</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>14</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>7,895</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24152020</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/sinemoras09/pseuds/sinemoras09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Series of drabbles about Korvo and Terry's relationship. Korvo/Terry, no spoilers. Will update on occasion.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Korvo/Terry, Korvotron "Korvo"/Terry (Solar Opposites)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>80</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>362</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. PTA</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"P. T. <em>Aaaaaaaaa</em>." Korvo's eyes slide down to the flyer Jesse had given him, then back up to their replicants, who are standing in front of him and Terry with expectant expressions. "What is this....'P. T. A.'?"</p><p>"Parent Teacher Association!" Terry says. He yanks the paper from Korvo's hand and does a little half-pirouette. "Oh, this is perfect! I've always wanted to meet the other parents of the neighborhood!"</p><p>Korvo sighs. "Is this mandatory? I have repairs I need to make on the ship."</p><p>"You always have repairs! C'mon, Korvy, it'll be fun! We'll bring the Pupa~," Terry says, <em>sotto voce</em>. The Pupa squeals.</p><p>"Hm. I suppose it will be beneficial to learn about these humans. I have often wondered how such limited beings raise their offspring."</p><p>"Yay! We're gonna join the P.T.A.!" Terry says.</p><p>The Pupa belches out a goobler.</p><p> </p><p>*****</p><p> </p><p>"So you're...." the woman squints at Korvo and Terry's nametags. "You're Jesse and Yumyulack's parents?"</p><p>"Correct," Korvo says, while Terry chirps, "Yeah!"</p><p>The woman squints harder. "And this is your baby?" The Pupa wriggles. Korvo stuffs it down under his armpit.</p><p>"This is our Pupa. Once he consumes the required amount of information and incorporates it into his DNA, he will evolve into a being that will terraform this planet and turn it into a perfect replica of the Shlorpian homeworld."</p><p>"But don't worry, it won't be a world-ending apocalypse or anything!" Terry says. The woman frowns, then wanders away from them.</p><p>"Hm, Terry. These humans don't seem to be as interested in mingling," Korvo says. "I had hoped to discern something useful about their methods of child-rearing, but I see now they are more interested in 'spaghetti dinners,' and 'raising-money-for-the-school' fundraisers. This is a waste of time and I want to go home."</p><p>"But Korvo! They're parents just like us! They're in the thick of it! We can exchange phone numbers and be back-up babysitters and drink wine together and be best friends!"</p><p>"I need to repair the ship," Korvo says. The Pupa pouts.</p><p> </p><p>*****</p><p> </p><p>There's laughter coming from the downstairs kitchen.</p><p>Korvo scoots out from beneath a panel to the ship, then walks over to the supercomputer, frowning. There's laughter - definitely human laughter - and it's disturbing his concentration. His eyes narrow. He goes downstairs.</p><p>"So...you don't have any sex organs? How do you reproduce?"</p><p>"OH! We just cut off a piece of ourselves and stick 'em in some special soil," Terry says, as Korvo walks down the staircase. There's a group of parents sitting on the couch and a few walking in and out of the kitchen, Terry leaning against the coffee table, entertaining them. "They grow up to be perfect replicants of us! We're plant-based, see?"</p><p>"Oooh. Like taking a clipping from a basil plant and sticking it in a glass of water until it starts to root," one of the dads say. Terry snaps his finger.</p><p>"That's right!" Terry says. "Like if you snap a branch off a tree and stick it in the ground, it'll grow into another tree!"</p><p>"Terry, a word," Korvo says, and Terry waves apologetically at his new friends.</p><p>"Terry what the hell is this?" Korvo says. They're standing in Korvo's lab, outside the open panel of their ship. "Why are you inviting humans into our house? Don't you know I'm trying to repair this ship?"</p><p>"Oh, well it's our turn to host the PTA meeting, and--"</p><p>Korvo rubs his head. "You joined the PTA?"</p><p>"I told you, Korvy! It's for the replicants," Terry says. Korvo sighs loudly.</p><p>"Fine," Korvo says. "Go talk to your PTA human friends. I'll do something actually useful and repair this ship."</p><p>Terry shrugs at him, then walks back down the stairs.</p><p> </p><p>*****</p><p> </p><p>The replicants are doing "homework," and it's so stupidly elementary they finish everything in under thirty seconds. "Can you believe this is all of human 'physics'?" Korvo says. He tosses Yumyulack's physics book on the table. "It's so rudimentary it's almost laughable."</p><p>Terry isn't listening. Terry walks in front of the couch, texting on a phone. "Are you listening?" Korvo says.</p><p>"Oh! I'm just texting my new PTA friends! We're gonna sip wine and complain about our kids."</p><p>Korvo's eyes narrow. "We don't have 'kids.' We have two replicants."</p><p>"Kids. Replicants. Tomato, potato - Oh!" Terry says, and he laughs, showing Korvo the phone. "Brenda replied with two wine glasses and a crying-face emoji! Oh that Brenda," Terry says, and Korvo sighs, loudly.</p><p>10 PM. Korvo performs his ritual ablutions, before switching off the light to the bathroom and crawling into bed. Terry still is gone at the PTA meeting. Korvo makes an irritated noise. He switches off the lamp at the nightstand.</p><p>It's 1 AM when he hears the sound of a car pulling out of the driveway. Terry waves at his friends, then walks up the stairs, humming happily and walking to their bedroom.</p><p>Korvo is sitting in bed. His arms are crossed. "Where were you?"</p><p>"Oh! Sorry, Korvy, kinda lost track of time. You know that ray gun that makes people dumb? Humans get like that after they drink a couple bottles of wine! Isn't that funny?"</p><p>"Wine. I see." Korvo's eyes narrow.</p><p>Terry itches. "Korvo what's wrong?"</p><p>"Nothing's wrong. Everything's fine. Everything except the fact that I'm the only one working on our ship while you're gallivanting with your sub-standard human friends and getting drunk off <em>wine</em>."</p><p>"You always work on the ship." Terry frowns at him.</p><p>Korvo is glaring. His arms are crossed and he stares pointedly at the wall, away from Terry. Terry's face brightens.</p><p>"Aw," Terry says. He smiles happily. "You missed me."</p><p>"NO. I did not miss you. I was irritated because I was the only one working on this ship."</p><p>"No, I know you, you missed me." Terry crawls into bed, wrapping his arms around Korvo happily. Korvo glares.</p><p>"Aw, look at you," Terry says. He spoons against Korvo's back. "You're jealous, Korvy."</p><p>"I am not jealous. I'm annoyed. At you. For not helping with the ship."</p><p>"Are you sure it's not about helping with the ship and the fact that I'm spending all my free time with my new PTA friends?"</p><p>"<em>No</em>," Korvo spits, and Terry snuggles against his back. "Well...maybe. A little. But I'm mostly annoyed that you're not helping with the repairs."</p><p>"Sorry, Korvy. Next time I'm out late I'll make sure I call."</p><p>"I refuse to use substandard human technology, I'd rather you use the fucking space phone."</p><p>"Alright. Space phone," Terry says, and he twists toward the nightstand and turns off the light, before shifting the covers and cuddling sleepily against Korvo.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Valentines</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"What the hell is this?" Korvo says, as he stands at the doorway to their bedroom.</p><p>There are rose petals sprinkled on the bed. About a dozen or so candles are haphazardly placed around the room, which is sure to be a fire hazard.</p><p>"It's for Valentine's Day!" Terry says. Korvo frowns and rubs his head. "You know? The human mating celebration? It's for showing appreciation for one's life-mate."</p><p>"And...how is sprinkling our bedroom with the torn-off appendages of our less fortunate relatives showing appreciation?"</p><p>"It's a kind of foreplay!" Terry says. Korvo's brow furrows.</p><p>"Fore...play?"</p><p>"What the humans engage in before ritualistic copulation!"</p><p>Korvo rubs his head. "You mean when they stick their whats-its in their partner's whatevers. Terry, my head hurts. And that's besides the point, I don't trust any species whose erogenous zones are located in the same place they evacuate waste."</p><p>"But isn't it romantic?" Terry says.</p><p>"Romantic?" Korvo echoes.</p><p>"Romantic! You know! Showing appreciation for your life partner!" Terry's voice reaches a fever pitch. Korvo frowns.</p><p>"You could show appreciation for me by helping me repair our ship."</p><p>"Our ship is fine! It finally matches the outside." (It's true - the amount of bird shit that accumulated on the outer hull finally matches the color of the roof.)</p><p>"Terry, 'romance' is stupid. It's only a necessary custom for lesser beings who are too stupid to mate and therefore need constant reinforcement to keep up their pair bonds."</p><p>"But...don't you want to keep up <em>our</em> pair bond?" Terry's eyes are wide and watery. Korvo snorts.</p><p>"You can help our pair bond by helping me fix our ship."</p><p>"I'm more than just a life mate and constant companion! I need romance! I don't want to fix the stupid ship!"</p><p>"Terry did you zap yourself with the Dumb Gun again?" Korvo frowns at him. Terry wails, shoving his fists in his eyes and running out the bedroom, gooblers popping out of his head as he careens out the door.</p><p> </p><p>*****</p><p> </p><p>Terry is sulking in what was once their Manc-Ave, but now is mostly just a laundry room with a few broken bits of furniture.</p><p>Korvo awkwardly walks down the stairs. He clears his throat, pointedly. "Ahem. Uh. Terry?"</p><p>"What do you want?"</p><p>"Uh..." Korvo shifts uncomfortably. "Happy. Happy...Valentines...whatever."</p><p>"Day. Valentine's DAY," Terry says, and he shifts his body away from him, pouting. Korvo sits carefully at the edge of the couch.</p><p>"Uh. Look. I didn't know how important this thing was to you. So, you know. I thought I'd take a break, you know. From repairing the ship."</p><p>"Hmph."</p><p>"And, uh, we can, we can tear off more flesh-appendages from those lesser flowers. What do you call them? Roses?"</p><p>"Roses," Terry says. Korvo nods.</p><p>"Yeah. Roses." They fall silent. Korvo fiddles with his sleeves.</p><p>"Hey man." Korvo scoots closer. "Hey, I didn't, you know. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings."</p><p>"Yeah right you didn't mean to hurt my feelings. I have feelings, Korvo! I'm not just your best friend and life companion, okay, I have needs!"</p><p>"Okay. Well. What do you need?" Korvo says. Terry considers.</p><p>"I don't know. I think the humans start petting their erogenous zones?"</p><p>"Huh." Korvo sits next to him. "I guess it's been a long time. You know. Since we fondled our abracadactyls."</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p>"Okay," Korvo says. He pats Terry on the back. "Wanna go back upstairs?"</p><p>Terry sniffs.</p><p>"Yeah."</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Valentines, part 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"You like it when I touch your abracadactyls?"</p><p>"Yeah I like it when you touch my abracadactyls."</p><p>"You like it when I squeeze your abracadactyls?"</p><p>"Yeah I like it when you...squeeze my...oh wow."</p><p>"Yeah, you like that, huh?"</p><p>"<em>Unh</em>, yeah."</p><p>"Who takes care of you, Terry?"</p><p>"You do, you do, OH--"</p><p>Jesse opens the door. She sees Korvo and Terry sitting on the bed, Korvo's palm on Terry's arm. They're both staring at her, stricken. Gooblers pop out of their heads.</p><p>"Jesse what's wrong?" Yumyulack says, coming up behind her. "Are they fighting about manuals again?" He stops at the door. "Ugh, gross, they're touching abracadactyls."</p><p>"REPLICANTS," Korvo says. "Close the door!"</p><p>"Use a lock," Yumyulack says.</p><p>"Gross," Jesse says.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Weedkiller</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>A bloodcurdling scream rips through the house.</p><p>"Terry!" Korvo lurches through the laboratory doors and runs downstairs.</p><p>Terry is lying on the grass, weeping and clutching his legs. "I got hit by weed killer!"</p><p>"Weed killer?!" Korvo throws a look and sees his neighbor spritzing the deadly mist onto his garden. "Animals! How could they?!"</p><p>"It hurts, it hurts!" Terry cries, and Korvo stoops down next to him.</p><p>"It's okay, Terry, it's gonna be okay..."</p><p>Their neighbor peers over the fence. "Everything alright, boys?"</p><p>"Not now, plant killer!" Korvo says. Their neighbor blinks. Korvo hefts Terry inside.</p><p> </p><p>*****</p><p> </p><p>Terry is on the couch whimpering while Korvo is head-deep in a chest of medical supplies. "I can't put you in the healing bay, those chemicals could contaminate the ship." He examines a bottle, then unscrews the cap. "Here, let me see your leg."</p><p>Terry sniffles and holds his legs out in front of him. His shins are burned as if he'd been splashed by acid.</p><p>"What's wrong with Terry?" Jesse says. Yumyulack walks in behind her.</p><p>"Replicants! A word." Korvo stands. "Our neighbors are dangerous. They've toxified the air with a plant-killing mist. You two are small and fragile and the root systems in your legs can't handle it."</p><p>"Toxified the air?" Jesse says.</p><p>Yumyulack pumps his fist. "Declaring an act of war?"</p><p>"No," Korvo says. "Clearly the humans are too stupid to realize what they're spraying are deadly to plants. I will need to go next door and educate them."</p><p>"No no no, Korvy, no!" Terry pushes up on the couch. "What if they hit you with weed killer too?!"</p><p>"Don't worry, Terry," and Korvo taps a button behind his ear. A helmet and full-body hazmat suit wraps around him. "I've come prepared."</p><p> </p><p>*****</p><p> </p><p>"What are you doing?" Jesse says, as Korvo crawls on his knees by the fence in their yard, taking a defensive crouch over a few dandelions he had rescued from their neighbor next door.</p><p>"I'm rescuing them," Korvo says. He gently picks up a dandelion, cradling the root ball and carefully lowering it into the soil. "Those animals were over there murdering these helpless little babies! But don't worry. We'll let them grow."</p><p>"Hey, Korvo." The neighbor peeks over their fence. "Uh, I'm cool with your spaceship sticking out of the roof and all, but you really got to do something about those weeds."</p><p>"They're not weeds! They're underdeveloped lifeforms who need our nurturing and protection!"</p><p>"They're weeds, and I'm going to have to take this up with the HOA."</p><p>"Oh I bet you want to take this up with the HOA," Korvo says.</p><p>"Hey, screw you, buddy, I'm just tending to my garden."</p><p>"Well I'm saving lives, so fuck you too."</p><p> </p><p>*****</p><p> </p><p>Under their guidance, the dandelions grow the size of trees.</p><p>"Look at that, Terry," Zorvo says. He's standing beneath the umbrella of dandelion petals, craning his neck up at the giant weed in front of him. "Look at these beautiful plants. They're almost the size of old Wise Trees."</p><p>"They're beautiful," Terry says. The wind stirs, and dandelion fluff the size of basketballs float in the air.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Weedkiller, part 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Their neighbor is standing on his driveway, talking to another neighbor.</p><p>"I don't understand," their neighbor says. "Why would he get so worked up about weeds?" Korvo marches up behind them.</p><p>"Why?" Korvo says. </p><p>"Oh no," Terry says.</p><p>"They're helpless little seedlings! Using weed killer is like taking a flamethrower to a nest of baby birds!"</p><p>Their neighbor holds up his hands. "Okay, we get it. You're plant aliens, alright? But these are dirty, disgusting weeds--"</p><p>"Well how about I go and murder your dirty, disgusting children?" Korvo says.</p><p>"He's kidding," Terry says. He grabs Korvo by the arm.</p><p>Korvo bristles. "What, Terry, <em>what</em>?"</p><p>"Uh, I'm pretty sure threatening the human's children isn't gonna score you any points with the HOA," Terry says.</p><p>"Terry! It was your stupid idea to mingle with these stupid humans, and they're a bunch of <em>seedling</em> killers. Did you see them?" Korvo says. Gooblers pop out of his head. "Those poor little seedlings! Their root systems were practically decimated!"</p><p>"Okay, okay," Terry says, and he pulls Korvo's head against his armpit. "There, now. The seedlings are safe. Don't worry."</p><p>"It just...it just reminded me of the replicants...."</p><p>"I know, I know."</p><p>"They were so tiny and defenseless, just like those poor weeds! Why do they call them 'weeds,' anyway? The pejorative is so fucking arbitrary. Tulips are considered fucking weeds, and the humans rip their heads off and sell them!"</p><p>"There there, mama bear," Terry says. He pats Korvo's back. "Hey. Wanna buy some bouquets? We can cut off their heads and put their bodies in water and root them."</p><p>Korvo sniffs. "Really?"</p><p>"Yeah! And then we'll plant them in the special soil and they'll be big and strong, just like our replicants are."</p><p>Korvo sniffles. "You'd, you'd really do that for me?"</p><p>"Of course! These life forms are lesser beings, but we can still rear them! It's like the humans raising chimpanzees."</p><p>"Thank you, Terry." Korvo straightens and wipes his eyes. "You really know how to take care of me."</p><p>"Awww! You took care of me - I was the one who ran in front of the chemical spray."</p><p>Korvo has an image of Terry seeing the weed killer, then launching his body forward, his mouth in an elongated "<em>noooooo</em>" as he dives in front of the dandelions in slow motion.</p><p>"You're a good parent, Terry," Korvo says. Terry claps him on the arm.</p><p>"Right back at-cha."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Siblings</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Replicants." Korvo and Terry are standing in front of them, arms crossed and serious looks on their faces. "These are your new siblings. Treat them with the care and respect that they deserve."</p><p>"What the fuck? These are flowers, are you fucking kidding me?" Yumyulack says.</p><p>"They are precious little saplings whose intellectual disabilities are no fault of their own!" Korvo says. Jesse nods while Yumyulack rolls his eyes.</p><p>"Geez."</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Flower Shop</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Yumyulack starts his preparations.</p><p>Flak jacket. Machete. Ray guns. He straps everything onto his back.</p><p>Jesse opens the door. "Yumyulack, what are you doing?" Yumyulack turns.</p><p>"Reconnaissance," Yumyulack says. He hitches his weapons pack over his shoulder. "There's a murder house not far from the school."</p><p>"Murder house?" Jesse says, as Yumyulack walks past her. "Wait wait wait, you're going by yourself?! What about Korvo and Terry?"</p><p>"I already told Korvo and Terry and the two of them just laughed at me." Yumyulack examines his laser. "Besides, it's dangerous. Better for me to go it alone than to drag you with me."</p><p>Jesse ends up coming with him.</p><p>"See? There it is," Yumyulack says. He's crouching in the bushes. Jesse peers next to him.</p><p>"It looks like a regular shop."</p><p>"It's not a regular shop. Look," Yumyulack says, and Jesse's eyes widen.</p><p>A woman walks out carrying the decapitated heads of their lesser plants.</p><p>Jesse shrieks. Yumyulack pushes her down. "Quiet, quiet! You don't want them to hear us."</p><p>"They...they cut off their <i>heads</i>."</p><p>"Stop it, Jesse, you're gooblering out," Yumyulack says. Gooblers pop out and do a little jig.</p><p>"Oh my god," Jesse says. She ducks behind a bush. "Humans do that? That's just awful."</p><p>"It's not enough to raise them in factory farms and eat them," Yumyulack says. "They have to kill them for decoration, too."</p><p>Another shopper passes. They duck behind the bushes.</p><p>"What did I tell you, Jesse? Humans suck. They're totally wall worthy."</p><p>"Well the wall is getting kinda full...."</p><p>"They're murdering plants! They can't replicate with their heads intact! They're just gonna stick 'em in a vase without roots."</p><p>"I'm scared," Jesse says. Yumyulack charges his ray gun.</p><p> </p><p>*****</p><p> </p><p>Korvo is working on the ship when he gets a call on their earth-made cellphone.</p><p>"Who's calling? What do you want?" Korvo says. </p><p>"<i>Uh, is Terry there?</i>" the voice is tinny in his ear.</p><p>"Yumyulack? What's wrong?"</p><p>"<i>Uh, we really need to talk to Terry</i>."</p><p>"You will not talk to Terry, I am holding the phone, answer the question."</p><p>"<i>Well, you know the murder house? The one you and Terry infiltrated?</i>"</p><p>He and Terry went and rescued a few bouquets to re-root a few days ago. Korvo nods. "I am aware of the murder house. What about it?"</p><p>"<i>Umm....</i>"</p><p>Yumyulack winces on the phone. "We kinda sorta got caught vandalizing it."</p><p>There's a riot in the jail cell behind him. A cop knees a rioter in the face and Yumyulack ducks as a chair whizzes by his head. </p><p> </p><p>*****</p><p> </p><p>"Court date? Summons? What the hell is this?" Korvo says. The woman at the receptionist desk raises her hands.</p><p>"He's being detained because he was caught stealing flowers from the florist."</p><p>"I wasn't stealing them, I was liberating them!" Yumyulack says. Korvo frowns at them.</p><p>"Hold on a second," Korvo says. He pulls out a ray gun. The woman's eyes widen.</p><p>"Wait, what are you doing? You can't use a weapon in here, it's--"</p><p>Zap. The woman freezes. Korvo sighs heavily and unlocks Yumyulack and Jesse's handcuffs.</p><p>"You're gonna tell me who else saw you so I can go around and freeze them."</p><p>"Are you gonna kill them?" Yumyulack says. He trots after Korvo while Jesse follows him. Korvo shakes his head.</p><p>"I'm going to erase their memories. In place of them witnessing you stealing a bunch of flowers, they're going to remember a nice, simple alien abduction. Nothing too traumatizing. Nothing like tearing the heads off innocent flowers."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Smart Gun</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Terry walks into the kitchen and sees Korvo standing in front of his plants.</p><p>"Uh, what are you doing?" Terry says. Korvo is kneeling over the window sill, spritzing the plants with water.</p><p>"I've shot them with the Smart Gun. Observe," Korvo says, and the plants wriggle. One flower opens up like a gaping mouth.</p><p>"I thought the Smart Gun was broken, I thought you couldn't fix it?"</p><p>"Lucky for us I'm smart without the Smart Gun," Korvo says. The plant wiggles.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Photosynthesis</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"So you're like, made of plants, but you eat peanut butter sandwiches?" Their classmates stare skeptically at Jesse and Yumyulack's lunch. "Can't you like, just use the sun or whatever, instead of eating lunch?"</p><p>"Oh, we do!" Jesse says. "And we're not made of plants, we <i>are</i> plants. And even though we can do photosynthesis we like eating too. We're kind of like Venus flytraps."</p><p>"Smell my breath, it's full of oxygen," Yumyulack says. Their classmates wince and shake their heads.</p><p>"Gross."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Cocaine</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Oh no, oh no, oh crap, oh no!" Terry says.</p><p>Korvo watches while Terry runs around the kitchen, throwing open drawers and tossing random things on the table. "Crap crap crap, I remember reading this and it was really bad!" Terry says.</p><p>"Terry, what the fuck is going on?" Korvo says. Terry spins around.</p><p>"The Pupa!"</p><p>"What about the Pupa?"</p><p>"<em>The Pupa,</em>" Terry thrusts the Pupa forward. "The Pupa is molting!"</p><p>"What?" Korvo says. Terry runs over to the sink and shows him.</p><p>"Pieces of his outer carapace are sloughing off. There's bits of exoskeleton all around the house!"</p><p>"Wait a minute, wait a minute, the Pupa's soft, how the hell does he have an exoskeleton?" Korvo says.</p><p>"I don't know!" Terry wails. Behind him, Jesse walks into the kitchen.</p><p>"Hey Korvo. Hey Terry. Oh, the Pupa's molting again?" Jesse walks over to the cupboard and takes out a container of salt. She walks over to Terry and shakes some salt onto the Pupa's head. "There ya go, buddy. Feeling better?"</p><p>The Pupa's skin softens, the moisture being drawn up to the surface. "Yum!" the Pupa says. He slithers out of Terry's grip and disappears into the living room. Korvo and Terry stare at her.</p><p>"How...how did you know how to do that?" Korvo says. Jesse shrugs.</p><p>"I dunno. I think I just remembered it from somewhere," Jesse says. She opens the freezer. "Ah! Freezer pants!" and she walks back out of the kitchen. Korvo turns.</p><p>"Terry, what the hell was that?" Korvo says.</p><p>"What the hell was what? My replicant poured salt on the Pupa, you saw it," Terry says. Korvo shakes his head.</p><p>"No, Terry, I'm asking you why the hell your replicant knew what to do when you're the freaking Pupa Specialist?"</p><p>"Ooooh," Terry says, understanding. He spreads his arms. "Yeah, I don't know."</p><p>"Dammit, Terry!"</p><p>"Hey man, I don't know how things work. Shit just happens, you know?" Terry pops a cheeto into his mouth. Korvo stares.</p><p>"Oh my god, you're such an idiot--"</p><p>"--Hey!" Terry says.</p><p>"How can she be your replicant? You're literally the stupidest Shlorpian on this planet. By all accounts she should be as dumb as you," Korvo says.</p><p>"Hey man, I'm smart, I'm just not focused because I'm not taking my daily dose of cocaine," Terry says. Korvo drops his arms.</p><p>"What? Why?"</p><p>"It gives me the farts, man, I can't take it."</p><p>"Wha-" Korvo rubs his head. "Terry, we don't even have a digestive system, how the hell do you get farts from doing cocaine?"</p><p>"I don't know, man, it just does," Terry says.</p><p>Korvo goes to Yumyulack's room.</p><p>"You wanna give Terry my cocaine?" Yumyulack says. He swivels around his computer chair to look at Korvo. Korvo nods.</p><p>"Just a little. Apparently it helps Terry focus his attention," Korvo says. Yumyulack sighs loudly.</p><p>"Fine," Yumyulack says, and he hands Korvo the paper bag.</p><p>"This isn't Shlorpian cocaine, this is Earth cocaine," Terry says, as Korvo tries to give him the bag. "Earth cocaine doesn't have even half the potency of Shlorpian cocaine I need to retain my attention!"</p><p>"Dammit, Terry, I don't care, take your cocaine!"</p><p>"I don't want to!"</p><p>"Take it..." Korvo holds up a spoon threateningly. Terry flaps his hands. Korvo tackles him. "Dammit, Terry, take it!"</p><p>"NO--" Terry says, but Korvo shoves in the spoon as Terry opens his mouth.</p><p>Terry's pupils dilate. Dark circles form around his eyes.</p><p>"Dear lord, Korvotron, the lengths to which you would go to ensure I take my medication. Let us hope I do not suffer excessive flatulence as a result of your endeavors."</p><p>"Whoa, whoa, Terry, is that really you?" Korvo steps off him. Terry sits up, shaking his head.</p><p>"I feel as if the cobwebs in my brain have cleared, although the metaphor is admittedly mixed," Terry says.</p><p>"Terry!" Korvo claps his hands. "Oh my god, I've never known you to talk like that! But why are you speaking in a British accent?" Korvo says.</p><p>"Obviously I'm using the Queen's English, but if it would help, I shall dumb it down for you," Terry says. He slaps Korvo on the back. "Ha ha! I'm just kidding, man! Don't start gooblering, I'm just fuckin' with you."</p><p> </p><p>*****</p><p> </p><p>"So, your dad has like, ADHD or something?" Jesse's classmates squint their eyes. Jesse laughs uncomfortably.</p><p>"Ha ha, ADHD, yeah. No, that's a human affliction. He just has something with his brain chemistry that needs the molecular equivalent of cocaine to help balance things out. It's not really cocaine on our planet, but it's close enough."</p><p>"Wow, Terry, what is this?" Korvo says, looking as Terry rearranges the living room.</p><p>"I've optimized the Pupa's living environment! By recalibrating the pH of his drinking water and dimming the lights by twenty lumens, I've been able to achieve perfect homeostasis." He pushes forward a lamp. "Also, we've been feeding him dog food, which is probably why he's always going around looking for sugar."</p><p>"Terry, this is amazing," Korvo says, looking around. "You really are a bonafide Pupa specialist."</p><p>"What did I tell you, man?" Terry takes a hit off his wrist. "Doing cocaine helps my thought process." His foot begins to jiggle.</p><p>Korvo frowns. "Uh, what's with your foot?"</p><p>"Oh! Well the molecular structure of Earth cocaine isn't exactly the same as the medication I used to take on the Shlorpian homeworld. It gives me a bit of the jitters." He takes another bump. "Also, I'm told snorting it would be better, but we don't have noses, so you know. We make do with whatever."</p><p>"Let's get high!" the Pupa says. The Pupa holds up his hands.</p><p>"Yeah, Pupa, let's get high!" Terry says. Korvo frowns at him.</p><p> </p><p>******</p><p> </p><p>Korvo is getting ready to go to bed when he notices Terry still working downstairs.</p><p>"Hey buddy. You still, uh. You still working?" Korvo says. Terry waves his hand.</p><p>"You know, ever since I started taking cocaine, my mind is going a mile a minute! I'm just making all these connections--" Terry starts scribbling on a notepad. "--All these ideas to optimize our living conditions!"</p><p>"Well I'm glad it's working for you, Terry. When you're done, just come to bed."</p><p>"Will do, buddy. Goodnight."</p><p>"Goodnight."</p><p>Korvo goes back upstairs.</p><p>The sun rises. A square of light hits Korvo's eyes, and Korvo sits up and reaches a hand toward Terry's side of the bed.</p><p>The bed is empty. The sheets are cool.</p><p> </p><p>*****</p><p> </p><p>Terry is running around the kitchen, fussing over the Pupa, fussing over the replicants, readjusting lights and opening and shutting the windows. Jesse and Yumyulack look tired. Korvo frowns.</p><p>"Terry, where were you last night?"</p><p>"Oh! Sorry Korvo, I don't think I need to sleep--"</p><p>"What?" Korvo says. Terry waves his hands.</p><p>"I have so many ideas to optimize the health of the Pupa! Look at him, he's thriving!" Terry says. He picks up the Pupa to show him.</p><p>"Hi," says the Pupa. Korvo frowns.</p><p>"Terry this isn't good, you're running yourself ragged--"</p><p>"No no, Korvo, listen, I may be a Pupa Specialist, but at my core I'm a plant biologist. I could optimize the living environment for all of us!" He sticks another spoon of cocaine into his mouth.</p><p>"Terry this isn't good-- look at you! You're getting brown spots, Terry, this is, this is what happens when you water plants with tapwater, all the salts accumulate in the leaves and kills off all the viable tissue. You've been eating too much cocaine."</p><p>"Dude, relax, I'm fine," Terry says, smiling. His eye twitches. He pops another spoon of cocaine in his mouth.</p><p> </p><p>*****</p><p> </p><p>Korvo is working in the ship when a sudden blast rocks the foundations. There's an explosion by the hull outside.</p><p>"Terry, what happened, what--" Korvo's eyes widen.</p><p>Terry is standing behind their quantum laser cannon, which he had dragged out onto the lawn.</p><p>"Oh!" Terry calls up to him. "Sorry, Korvo! I was aiming for the roof, I didn't mean to graze our ship, there."</p><p>"Terry, what the hell! Why were you shooting the roof?!"</p><p>"I was just optimizing our living conditions!" Terry says. His hands are around his mouth like a bullhorn. "I thought it'd be good if we let in more sun--"</p><p>"<em>By blasting off the fucking roof?!</em>"</p><p>"Hey man, Rome wasn't built in a day, man." Terry shoves another spoon into his mouth. "You know what, Korvo, I was thinking, why do we even need the Pupa to terraform the planet? I could just start doing it myself!"</p><p>"Okay, no." Korvo jumps down from the roof. "Terry, that's it. I'm taking away the cocaine."</p><p>"What? But I'm so much smarter after eating cocaine--"</p><p>"No, you're fucking manic and you're not sleeping, I'm taking the cocaine." Korvo lunges forward. Terry dumps the entire bag into his mouth. "Dammit, Terry!"</p><p>"I ate it all, I ate it all, see? Now I'm gonna be super smart and--whoa, you know what would really work is if we <em>make more replicants</em>. Oh my god Korvo it's perfect, let's do it! Help me cut off an arm!"</p><p>"We can't make more replicants, we don't have the resources, what are you doing?!" Korvo says, as Terry lurches toward him.</p><p>"Don't worry, Korv, I'm just gonna cut off a leg, you'll grow another one later--"</p><p>ZAP. Terry drops with a thud.</p><p>Jesse and Yumyulack slowly emerge from behind the bushes. They had been watching the entire thing, horrified. "What happened?" Yumyulack says. Korvo turns toward them.</p><p>"Dumb Gun," Korvo says. "Only to be used in emergencies when we're overthinking things." He re-holsters his gun. "Now help me drag Terry to the Manc-Ave so he can sleep off all this cocaine."</p>
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<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Cocaine, part 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It's early morning, and the Pupa moves quietly through the house; he stops at the living room and looks out the window. The sky is gray and covered in a light rain; a boy on a bicycle tosses a newspaper at the house across from them.</p><p>The Pupa frowns and closes the drapes, listening for some sign of movement upstairs in his caretakers' bedroom. The Pupa is still not entirely used to the air density or the physics of Earth-based acoustics, but he's able to focus the sound enough to hear the soft wheeze of Korvo's breathing and the sound of Terry snoring, the rustling of the bedsheets as they shift against their skin.</p><p>The Pupa glides up the stairs in a slug-like motion, then stops by the door. Flattening himself, he slips under the crack between the door and the floor and finds the two of them sleeping, Korvo curled up around Terry, his arm draped across Terry's waist, spooning him in his sleep.</p><p>Outside, a garbage truck rumbles. There's a light sound, garbage cans being picked up and tossed carelessly onto the asphalt, and it's almost enough to wake them, but Terry mumbles something about jet skis and Korvo just nuzzles against Terry's back and hugs him. They fall back asleep, breathing deeply.</p><p>The Pupa waits a moment, then slips out of the bedroom and regroups slinky-like back into the hallway. Gliding down the stairs, the Pupa scoots across the living room and into the kitchen. He reaches behind his back, then pulls out a spoon in one hand, then a bag of cocaine in the other.</p><p>The Pupa takes a big scoop and chomps it in his mouth. The Pupa's eyes dilate.</p><p>"Wee!" says the Pupa, and he does a little spin. He molts another exoskeleton and drops it on the floor.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Spooning</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Terry is a messy sleeper.</p><p>He'll snore. He'll roll around the bed, whacking Korvo in the face and hogging the covers, flopping onto his stomach and lying half on top of Korvo and half hanging off the mattress.</p><p>Sometimes, when Terry sleeps, Korvo will roll on his side to face him. Pushing Terry by the shoulder, he'll push Terry into a spooning position, so that Terry's body is facing away from him, curled like an S under the blanket. And even though Terry is dead asleep, he'll somehow know to scoot back and snuggle against Korvo as Korvo presses his face to Terry's back, his arm draping around Terry's waist like a bracelet. Then he'll settle against Terry's back, feeling how wonderfully warm and solid Terry is, before closing his eyes and going back to sleep.</p><p> </p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Clone</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>There's banging outside the fuselage door.</p><p>"Korvo?! Dude, Korvo, are you in there?!"</p><p>"Terry, what the fu--" Korvo pushes up his welding helmet, sliding out from beneath the reactor core. "I told you I'm busy re-calibrating the warp coils! It's dangerous and I don't need to be worrying about you getting exposed to radiation--"</p><p>"Korvo, buddy, you really need to get out here," Terry says. Korvo tosses his wrench onto the workbench, irritated. He throws open the door.</p><p>"What, Terry, <em>what</em>," Korvo says. "I'm straightening out the subspace displacement fields, if you're not gonna help, you need to get out of the way."</p><p>"Uh, Korvo, I reeeeally wanna do that, but--"</p><p>Korvo's clone shoves Terry out of the way. "Clearly your escape partner is an idiot. It's no wonder you haven't fixed your ship."</p><p>Korvo's eyes widen.</p><p> </p><p>*****</p><p> </p><p>"Oh, shit! There's two Korvos?!" Yumyulack pumps his arms while Terry and Jesse sit nervously on the couch. "We saw him get chewed up by that black hole, though! I thought he was torn apart by noble birds?"</p><p>"Obviously your Pupa Specialist neglected to check for a pulse," the clone Korvo says, crossing his arms.</p><p>"Oh, that's totally my bad," Terry says. Both Korvos sigh, exasperated. The cloned Korvo continues.</p><p>"After you left me at the mountaintop, I had to reconfigure a makeshift portal gun and teleport myself into one of your medical pods. My body was so mangled it took this long to heal."</p><p>"But Korvo's in the ship all the time, how did he not notice you?" Jesse says.</p><p>"That particular pod is located in what used to be your Pupa Specialist's room."</p><p>"Yeah, that checks out. I'm never in there," Terry says.</p><p>"So what? You're here to get revenge?" Yumyulack says. The Korvo clone laughs.</p><p>"What? No, of course not! What kind of animal do you think I am?"</p><p>"But Korvo prestige'd you! How are you not mad?" Jesse says.</p><p>"Korvo prime explained to me the situation. I would have done the same thing," the Korvo clone says. Korvo nods.</p><p>"It is an excellent development," Korvo says. "With two of us here, we can repair the ship faster."</p><p>"Finally, we have an equal!" Korvo Two says. Korvo nods.</p><p>"Now we have someone to talk to who's on the same intellectual level!"</p><p>"We won't have to be alone on Tuesday Taco night!"</p><p>"We can read each other service manuals!"</p><p>The Korvos squeal and grab each others' hands, jumping together.</p><p>"Yeesh, okay," Terry says. He stands up from the couch. "You two nerds go geek out. I'm gonna go sample perfumes at the mall."</p><p> </p><p>*****</p><p> </p><p>The two Korvos sit at the kitchen table, both wearing black robes and both going over system manuals.</p><p>"So, uh, Korvo Two, what do we call you?" Jesse says. Korvo and Clone Korvo snicker.</p><p>"You can call me ramet, and you can call him ortet," Clone Korvo says. Korvo also snickers.</p><p>"Yeah, because I'm the progenitor plant that propogated my genes into clonal ramets like him and Yumyulack!" Korvo says. He and Clone Korvo laugh and high five each other. Jesse and Yumyulack frown.</p><p>"Uh, what's a ramet? Is that some weird human gardening thing?" Jesse says, but Korvo and Clone Korvo are too busy giggling. The Pupa begins eating pages out of a dictionary.</p><p>"Well you two seem to be getting along well," Terry says. "Already got some inside jokes there." He pours himself a bowl of cereal. Korvo turns.</p><p>"Oh, Terry, listen. About our date night--"</p><p>"Ooh! It's gonna be great, Korv, I got tickets to see Hairspray! We're in the balcony so we can throw popcorn at the stage!"</p><p>"Yeah about that," Korvo says. "Korvo Two and I are making a lot of progress on the ship. I'm gonna have to take a raincheck."</p><p>"Wait, really?" Terry says. "You've been bugging me about a date night for weeks, I thought you wanted it--"</p><p>"Yeah, well now I have a productive partner who knows his way around tri-phasic reactors. We can actually make some progress on our ship."</p><p>"Why don't you take one of your PTA friends?" Korvo Two says. Terry frowns at them.</p><p> </p><p>*****</p><p> </p><p>The Korvos are giggling in the ship. </p><p>Terry walks up the stairs, a beer in one hand and a box of pizza in the other. "Hey, Korvo," Terry says. "Hey man, I got a slice of pizza for ya--"</p><p>"Oh," Korvo says, turning. "You did?" Terry sets the beer and the pizza on the counter.</p><p>"I mean, you two are working so hard, you know, I thought you two could use a break?"</p><p>"Oh, we already ate," Korvo Two says, sliding out from beneath the core reactor. Terry blinks.</p><p>"Wait, you guys ate without me?"</p><p>"We just made tacos." The two Korvos glance at each other. "It's Tuesday."</p><p>"You never come anyway, we didn't think you'd mind."</p><p>"Oh," Terry says. "Yeah. Yeah, you're right, man. Taco Tuesdays are lame."</p><p>The two Korvos blink. "Terry, are you okay? We got some extra meat here--"</p><p>"No no, I'm good, man. I'm just," Terry throws a thumb back at the door. "I'm just gonna go back downstairs and get another beer."</p><p>The two Korvos start working again. Terry waits a moment, then hunches his shoulders, going down the stairs.</p><p> </p><p>*****</p><p> </p><p>He's stewing in bed, arms crossed and glaring up at the ceiling. The door opens. Quietly Korvo enters the bedroom.</p><p>"It's 2 AM," Terry says. Korvo stops.</p><p>"Oh, Terry, I'm sorry, I didn't know you were awake."</p><p>"I was waiting for you!" Terry waves his hands. "You never go to bed this late! You're usually in bed the same time I am!"</p><p>"Sorry about that, Terry. I guess I got carried away working on the ship," Korvo says. He climbs into bed, but Terry yanks the blankets over himself, rolling away from him. "Terry what's wrong?"</p><p>"Nothing. Nothing's wrong."</p><p>"You seem upset," Korvo says. Terry pulls a pillow over his head.</p><p>"I'm tired, I don't wanna talk about it!" Terry says. Korvo rubs his head.</p><p>"Terry you're starting to goobler, what's the problem?" Korvo says. Terry throws off the covers, slapping his hands on the bed.</p><p>"You blew off our date and you wouldn't eat pizza with me! I'm your life mate, Korvo, not Korvo Two!"</p><p>"Wait, you're jealous of my clone?" Korvo says. "Terry, don't be ridiculous, it's like you being jealous of Yumyulack, for all intents and purposes, Korvo Two is another replicant."</p><p>"Another replicant who's already grown to adult size and has all your memories and laughs at the same stupid science jokes you're always making--"</p><p>"He's helping me with the ship, which is something you'd never do."</p><p>Terry lets out an outraged gasp. "You like him," Terry says. Korvo snaps.</p><p>"Of course I like him! He's helping me with the ship!"</p><p>"You <em> like him,</em> like him!" Terry says. He stands and points. Gooblers pop out of his head. "You freaking love him!"</p><p>Korvo raises his hands. "Terry, you're getting hysterical--"</p><p>"<em>I am not hysterical!</em>" Terry shrieks and throws his hands over his eyes, careening out of the bed, wailing. "My Korvy doesn't want me!" he says, and he throws himself out the door.</p><p> </p><p>*****</p><p> </p><p>The hatch to the attic opens, and Korvo Two sees Korvo wearily coming up the stairs.</p><p>"What's wrong?" Korvo Two says. Korvo sighs heavily.</p><p>"It's Terry," Korvo says. "He's jealous of you."</p><p>Korvo Two frowns. Korvo drags up a pillow and blanket and sits heavily on a computer chair. "He's so fucking dramatic," Korvo says. He fluffs his pillow, angrily. "If only he took the mission seriously, I wouldn't have to be so hard on him."</p><p>"You know, I could take him out on that date, and you can fix the ship," Korvo Two says. Korvo lifts his head.</p><p>"Wait, why would you take him out on a date?"</p><p>"Well we are identical. And since you're so hellbent on fixing things I can free you up so you can get things started."</p><p>Korvo's eyes narrow. "We have the same skillset," Korvo says. "Why can't you fix the ship and I take Terry on that date?"</p><p>Korvo Two scoffs. "Please. You didn't even want to go on that date. Stageplays are loud and humans are annoying."</p><p>"You think humans are annoying too! You're my clone, I know you do."</p><p>"You know, you're probably right not wanting me to go out with Terry. Genetically we may be identical, but physiologically, you've already aged. My body hasn't accumulated the same amount of stress. On a molecular level, I'm more attractive. Terry would most likely prefer me to you."</p><p>Korvo narrows his eyes. "You mean getting taken out by a black hole and eaten by noble birds isn't a form of stress?"</p><p>Korvo Two's eyes narrow. "It was one bird. Singular."</p><p>The two Korvos glare at each other.</p><p> </p><p>*****</p><p> </p><p>"How the hell are you even alive? That black hole was supposed to eat you!"</p><p>"Oh you blue-headed bastard. You're so fucking selfish! I can't believe I didn't take my chance to kill you!"</p><p>One Korvo whips out a ray gun. The other Korvo whips out another.</p><p>Terry marches up the stairs.</p><p>"What the hell, Korvo, some of us are trying to sleep--" Terry pushes open the hatch and sees the two Korvos pointing ray guns at each other.</p><p>Terry blinks. "Korvo?"</p><p>"Terry, quick! Get the ray gun! The clone is trying to kill me!" one of the Korvos says.</p><p>"Don't listen to him, Terry! I'm the real Korvo! He wants to kill me and take my place! Shoot him before he shoots me!"</p><p>"Jesus Christ!" Terry says. "Put down the ray guns! I thought you two were gonna jerk off and fix the ship together! What the hell happened?!"</p><p>"He wants you to be his life mate, Terry." One of the Korvos cocks his gun. "He's angry because of the way I treated you. I offered to clone you, but he doesn't want that. He wants revenge and he wants the fucking original."</p><p>"Terry, he's the clone, he's lying," the other Korvo says. He keeps aiming his gun. "He's pissed off about being ripped apart by not-so-noble birds, he wants to take revenge. He's pretending he's the progenitor so that you'd shoot me instead."</p><p>"Wait wait wait, why do we have to kill somebody? Don't you guys just wanna have a threesome?" Terry says.</p><p>Both the Korvos spit. "NO."</p><p>The Korvos circle each other.</p><p>"There's only one way to tell us apart, Terry," one Korvo says. "We may look the same, but our memories diverge from when he jumped into that black hole. Go on, Terry. Ask him something only the real Korvo would know."</p><p>"Uh..." Terry's eyes dart from one Korvo to the other. "What was the name of the robot we buried in the backyard?"</p><p>"P.A.T.R.I.C.I.A.," the other Korvo says. The first Korvo snaps.</p><p>"He's obviously been going through my system logs! Ask him another question!"</p><p>"Um....when we were teamed up with the Simpsons, who did we face off?" Terry says.</p><p>The Korvo answers. "The monsters from Space Jam."</p><p>"Dammit!" the other Korvo says. He whirls toward him. "Terry, I don't know how the hell he knows that stuff, but I'm telling you, I'm the original! He's the clone!"</p><p>"I'm not the clone, you idiot, he is!"</p><p>"Shoot him, Terry!"</p><p>"No, shoot <em>him</em>, Terry!"</p><p>Terry stares at them. Gooblers start popping out of his head.</p><p>"Listen to me, Terry." The Korvo's eyes are trained on the other Korvo. "I don't tell you this enough, but I care about you, Terry. You're my family. We may not have chosen each other, but we grew together. Coming to earth with you is the greatest honor of my life. So if you kill me, I just want you to know...I love you Terry." The Korvo turns to look at him. "I'll always love you."</p><p>Terry looks at the one Korvo, then the other.</p><p>Terry screams. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!" BANG. BANG. BANG. BANG.</p><p>Terry shoots the Korvo that had been talking. The other Korvo starts while the first Korvo slumps over, blue blood smearing on the floor.</p><p>"Terry! You shot the clone, Terry!" Korvo runs toward him. "Oh Terry, I'm so sorry, Terry! How did you know?"</p><p>"The real Korvo wouldn't be that nice to me," Terry says. Korvo hugs him.</p><p>"Oh, Terry!" Korvo squeezes him. "We're gonna go and get pizza and throw as much popcorn as we can at the cast of Hairspray! I promise you. I'll never take you for granted again!"</p><p>"I'm so glad, Korvy!" Terry hugs him. "I knew you loved me, I can't believe I was so jealous of a stupid replicant!"</p><p>"Well I mean," Korvo scoffs, "Technically that clone had already reached the age of maturity, not to mention had all the same memories. I would hardly call him a replicant," Korvo says.</p><p>Terry blinks. "Wait, what?"</p><p>"What?"</p><p>"Oh no, it's just that earlier you said..." Terry stops. His eyes widen.</p><p>
  <em>For all intents and purposes, Korvo Two is another replicant.</em>
</p><p>Terry and the Korvo stare at each other.</p><p>"Ah! Who cares?" Terry says. "My Korvy's back!" And he throws his arm around Korvo and walks with him down the stairs.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p>
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<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Clone, part 2</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Hey Terry, you know. I hope you don't get all weird about that replicant thing. I mean, I didn't actually mean what I was saying when I compared him to Yumyulack, I obviously was just saying that earlier to calm you down...."</p><p>A beat.</p><p>"...although, given our intelligence and the fact that we were clones of each other, it's reasonable to assume I am the clone, and that I'm just inferring what was said during your argument, which would be easy for me since I'd have access to the same set of memories."</p><p>A beat.</p><p>"Terry I'm not the clone."</p><p>"Oh thank god."</p>
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